FFF CLUB – FIND THEM, F$$$ THEM, FORGET THEM

NOTHING FOR THE RECORD BOOKS

MOST OF THESE BELONG IN THE TRIPPLE F CLUB (FIND THEM, FUCK THEM, FORGET THEM)

WARNING

This blog does contain adult and gay material. If you are under your country's legal age (18 or 21), do not scroll down and leave this page now.

Thanks

By Kevin McLean

Oh yes, I have them too…those I might as well have jacked off than gone to bed with him kind…those who you totally misjudged as being good in bed or even attractive…Among those are the ones that when you wake up in the morning and you look in the bed next to you and you say to yourself: “What the fuck was I thinking?”

There are many reasons why I would put some of these in that category…you know the one…the triple FFF club; (find them, fuck them, forget them). I think that the most common one is some dude who is bordering on being attractive, doesn’t really have that nice a body and is really challenged in the penis size department. But don’t get me wrong…I have had some five and six inch cocks that have totally satisfied me sexually…it is those who just lie in bed...in a crucifixion position and expect you to do all the work and worship them. Those are the ones that will not get my return phone call.

You have also heard the saying: “drink one more until I look cute”, have you? I make that mistake not too often since my drinking is rarely excessive. But once in a while when I know I am not driving or I am on campus in somebody’s dorm room and I get shit faced…then things do happen that make me wonder when I wake up the next morning with a hangover and a sore asshole. I look in the bed next to me and say to myself: “What the fuck was I thinking?”

Then I have the selfish ones. You probably know him well…it is me, me, me and fuck you…I don’t care if you have an orgasm or not…as long as I have mine I will put my clothes back on and get the fuck out of your bed…but be assured mother fucker, you are never going to get a second invitation to that bed.

One big turn off for me is the control freak. And I don’t mean by that when a guy is genuinely assertive and takes over…I love those. It is when a guy goes to bed with you and he has so mechanically figured out what it is he likes to do and leaves no room for spontaneity. They do it in this way and the other and there is not one move that can deviate from that…he will even instruct you how he wants you to stand, squat, kneel or get on your fours. Push your butt up, tighten it, squeeze my nipples and suck me at the same time, etc. And what about me? Where do I come in to this sexual encounter? Am I even invited?

I smoke on occasions so that I really don’t have that much against smoking, but what I absolutely can’t stand is the guy who smokes while you are sucking him or when he is fucking you. I’ve had them stop the actual act of fucking when I was beginning to enjoy it and they insisted to take a break and smoke. Needless is to say that kissing these types of guys is not very pleasant.

 

Then there are those who are hygiene challenged…you know the ones…with the smegma between the prepuce and the head of their penis…the one who didn’t wipe his ass clean and still have a dingle berry hanging from one of his ass hairs. Or then there are the ones who regardless of what I say about liking hairy guys…if your chest hairs are four inches long or longer then you should seriously consider to trim them…not shave them, just trim them. Or your nose hairs for that matter…how big a turn off is it to see a guy with nose hairs and a bugger or two stuck to them?

It is also possible to find some that are so meticulous with their appearance that it makes them unfit for human consumption…You can't touch their hair or those who splash on an excess of sweet smelling cologne or the ones who plaster the deodorant on to their very bushy and sexy armpits..which makes it impossible to sniff anything exciting or licking them totally out of the question…have you tasted deodorant lately? Yuk!

So those are the ones that I say: Fuck you, go find yourselves another yes man, I am not going to play your silly games. Go on your way and if you don’t ever find anybody to repeat…just stay home and jerk off…you would be doing the gay community a favor.