WHAT MAKES A MAN MANLY, MACHO?
WARNING
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By Paco Prado
What makes a macho man? Here is a hint: You don’t wear high heel Stilettos with a matching shoulder bag.
We can tell you some of the things you don’t want to do…but then again we are talking about fashion and stereotypes. We have gone that route a thousand times before and have come back full circle. It is clear that some gays emulate women; some wish they were women; perhaps it has to do with the guilt trip society lays on us and in order to feel like you are right with society then you adhere to what their standards are…if it is acceptable for a man to have sex with a woman then you want to be a woman. Is that a valid premise?
But the problem is that most gay men are not attracted to women. The homosexual male craves the companionship, the looks and the sexual relations with another male and if they depart from the feminine stereotype so much the better. After all, we are gay because we like men…not because we like men who look like women.
Sure, there are exceptions, there are men who somehow, in their minds if they make love to another man but that man looks like a woman then that becomes acceptable…or if that same man makes love to another man but never assumes a passive role…then he is the dominant male, the macho in the equation and therefore less gay or not as culpable. I see this kind of criteria used in my own culture often…they call these men “bugarrones” a somewhat demeaning term for men who fuck other men in the ass.
The implications are complex because some people in society have a tendency to accept these bugarrones more readily than they are their feminine counterparts. Oftentimes the more effeminate gay is humiliated and becomes the butt of jokes in our society…Latin America is no different.
There are a lot of instances where wearing garments of clothing specifically associated with females that turns on either the wearer or the partner who somehow is “more turned on” if his “bitch” looks more like a woman. Perhaps it is just me but I have still not able to comprehend that…if you have a more plausible explanation, please let me know.
Having said that, I am not disputing that there are individuals born with a physiological gender and inside they feel that the sex assigned by nature is not theirs…I suppose that is why they call it gender reassignment when they seek medical help to correct it. I am not an expert on the subject to even give an educated opinion on this…and I remain quite open to whatever it is that trans-genders feel and suffer through; after all, who am I to judge?
However, I think that there is the possibility that since we are all born with our sexuality roadmap, that being gay is something you are born with…innate, natural and God-given; when a person that is hyper-feminine is quite young would try to emulate females because that is how they feel inside. It could be sub-conscious and involuntary;
that is why you see five and six year olds already displaying signs of femininity…they pick those up automatically and involuntarily. The same goes for masculine, hyper macho men; they pick it up subconsciously. That has nothing to do with sex or the sexual desire…that goes on in most healthy human beings and it can take many shades…from totally white to totally black and in between many tonalities of gray.
Also, that may explain the anomaly (or considered so by some) of some very butch, macho man enjoying anal sex as the receptor and not the giver and I have known drag queens and “chicks with dicks” who were tops….or
preferred to be the giver and not the receptor even though their personas projected a totally different image.
But I do know that I am not attracted to those males who act, dress, and feel like they are females. Which brings me to the next issue: what constitutes a MACHO MAN, A MASCULINE STUD, and A REAL MANLY MAN?
I can only describe certain characteristics that I find appealing in men and they are almost always masculine traits. For me to think of another man as masculine at least one or more of these features should be present: hair on the body and/or the face, muscular, fit physique, rugged, chiseled features, not extremely symmetrical faces or pretty.
To me it makes very little difference what sexual preference a gay person has…he can be a very masculine top or a very macho bottom…if there is a difference I would like to know…but it is when we start to assume “roles” that we get into trouble. At least it
does with me.
There are tops that can’t perform sexually unless they belittle and humiliate the partner and vice-versa. That is an unusual situation because the act of lovemaking is the sharing of one’s sexuality with another and it should be about making the other person feel good, not feel bad. But there you have it…it is quite common among gays to be that way.
I don’t know how many times I have heard “two inches less and he’d be a girl” referring to the size of the penis. While this should not be a tremendously important aspect it is somewhat important because of the sexual performance expectations. A small penis just does not produce the same kind of sexual stimulation than a large one does…that is not to say one that is morphed and excessively large has just the opposite effect because it causes pain and discomfort when engaging in anal sex. But I would say that men who are well endowed ordinarily will assume a more dominant role…it may be mental but men who are not hung usually will suffer from some kind of inferiority disorder.
I think that I have also heard this: “hell, if I wanted a woman, I go out and get a woman” referring to someone who does not engage in sex with effeminate men.
Basically what I am trying to say here is that who and how you have sex with and enjoy it is probably genetically predetermined but gender orientation and gender perception is acquired whether it is acquired consciously or subconsciously.
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